What the HELL are some people thinking when they put to sea?
Jan
12
Written by:
1/12/2010 3:15 AM
Read this blog entry first:
http://svsereia.blogspot.com/2009/12/knockdown.html
THE SITUATION:
You are in (or near, actually - from their track) the notorious Cook Straight.
There is a gale blowing, and you getting swamped regularly by huge seas, while
broad reaching under main before it.
If this keeps up you will sink. Since you are such a cheap bastard, your bilge pumps don't work, and you never bothered to install a manual one in the cockpit.
THE CREW:
A VERY seasick, pregnant wife, a terrified, puking, crying toddler (what is all that clear stuff coming out of mommy?) and a super hot, bisexual Belgian go-go dancer who has never sailed a day in her life.
(I'm not making this up)
Pop quiz, skipper:
What do you do?
a) The wife is sick - Now's your chance! Quick! bang that go-go dancer out on
the foredeck! Tell her it's the only way to placate the angry sea gods. At least
you will die happy.
b) Put up more sail, that way you will get out of it sooner...Send the go-go
dancer forward to hank on and hoist the genny. Go-go dancers have cat-like
reflexes, and are very limber and athletic. They are also too stupid to have any fear, a real plus in this situation.
c) Leave everything the way it is, and start working that rusty, disused bilge
pump with a screwdriver while go-go girl helms your foundering yacht in breaking
50 foot seas. It's your only chance.
d) HEAVE TO, AND HOIST, REEF, OR THROW OFF THE BOW WHATEVER F*&^ING SAIL WILL HOLD YOU HOVE TO,
WHILE YOU BOTH BAIL OUT THE GODDAMED BOAT.
....THEN bang the go-go girl to celebrate while your pregnant wife continues dry-heaving into the bilge. Since you are now hove to, she will quickly recover from her seasickness, and then you can bang her too.
WTF is wrong with these people?
I read stuff like that and just shake my head. It's not a playground out there folks. 2 innocent lives (four if you count the fetus and go-go girl) were put at risk by some very poor judgment on the part of that skipper. At least they decided to postpone their Southern Ocean trip until the wife is postpartum.
Unbelievable. Bet he never banged that go-go girl either.
=)
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